Zayna’s husband and two daughters sat at the front of the church with all the other members of their extended family. They all had their heads down. Some were weeping quietly while others whispered to one another.
Outside a hearse pulled up in front of the church and six strong men worked together to pull out the coffin. Everyone fell silent and the organ began to play gospel hymns as they carried the coffin into the church. They placed it down carefully and opened the top half of the coffin.
One by one each person made their way to the front of the church to have a look at the cold lifeless body that laid in the coffin. Zayna looked so peaceful that it made people cry even more.
Zayna’s husband, David, took each of his daughters by the hand and led them to the coffin. Fresh tears pricked David’s eyes as he gazed upon the lovely face of his wife.
“She looks very pretty,” said 7 year old Penny.
“She looks like she’s sleeping,” said 5 year old Tana. “Can we wake her up?”
David tried to swallow the lump in his throat. “No, sweetie, I’m afraid your mummy can’t wake up. She’s gone to heaven.”
“No, she hasn’t. Mummy’s right here,” Tana argued as she looked desperately at her mum. “We just need to wake her up.”
David fought back tears. “No, Tana, you can’t wake her up. She’s gone now.”
“No, Daddy, she’s right here,” said Tana. She grabbed the edge of the coffin and started to shake it. “Wake up, Mummy, wake up!” she cried.
Zayna suddenly jumped up from her warm pillow, her body saturated in sweat, her heart pounding so hard she thought it would burst through her chest. Her breathing was rapid and shallow. She blinked her eyes a few times and looked around. She was safe in her bedroom. Zayna’s breathing slowed down and relief swept over her as she realised that the images in her head were not real.
“It was just a dream,” she whispered. “It was all just a dream.” She covered her mouth with her hands and started to cry softly. When she reached out to her husband, David, she realised that he wasn’t in bed.
“Zayna?” David entered their bedroom with a glass of water. “Honey? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did you have another bad dream?” He placed the glass on the night table and sat on the bed. He placed his arm around his wife’s shoulders.
Zayna could not speak because of the big lump that formed in her throat, so she nodded her head and melted into her husband’s outstretched arms and sobbed uncontrollably.
“Why don’t you tell me what your dream was about?” David suggested gently.
Zayna sat up and wiped her eyes. David handed her a tissue and she blew her nose loudly. He then handed her a glass of water that he had placed on the small night table next to their bed.
She loved her husband David so much. He was so kind, caring and thoughtful. The thought of living a life without David caused fresh tears to stain her cheeks.
David wrapped his strong arms around his wife and tried to comfort her. Seeing Zayna so sad and scared made him feel so worried and helpless. He loved his wife so much that it was killing him inside to see her that way.
“Did you dream about dying again?” asked David.
“Yes! It was terrible!” Zayna replied. “You and the girls, all of our relatives and close friends were at my funeral. I was lying in a coffin and you looked so sad. The girls saw me and Penny said that I looked pretty, but Tana thought that I was only sleeping and she tried to wake me up.”
She sat up, dried her tears and blew her nose again. “David, ever since we found out that I have cancer, I keep dreaming about my death. I’m so scared that I’m going to die that I keep having nightmares! It’s out of control and I don’t know what to do.”
She sighed wearily. Almost every night Zayna had been having bad dreams that it kept her from sleeping well.
“How do I make it stop, David?” she asked desperately. “How do I stop having all these bad dreams?”
David wrapped his wife in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He realised that her hair was a lot thinner due to the number of chemotherapy treatments she had to go through to get better. Her body felt so frail and thin that it angered him because it seemed like there was nothing he could do to protect her from her suffering and pain.
“Zayna, honey, I know you’re scared,” said David, “I’m scared too. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want our daughters to grow up without a mother, so don’t give up. Don’t let those nightmares make you think that your life is over because it’s not. As long as you are still breathing you have a chance to beat this disease and get better.”
Zayna shifted her body so that she was leaning against her husband. She could feel his heart beating against his chest. She felt safe and warm in his loving embrace.
She could not bear to imagine living a life without her husband and she did not want him to live the rest of his life without her.
“I guess you’re right, David,” Zayna replied. “I need to do everything I can to fight this disease and get better. But it’s so hard!” she complained. “I keep having all of these negative thoughts about losing my life and never being able to be with you or the girls.
“After chemo, when I feel really weak and tired, that’s when I feel like giving up, knowing that there’s a possibility that I may not survive the whole procedure.
“I want to stop thinking all of these negative thoughts but it’s hard to stop. Sometimes I can’t control all of the negative thoughts that keep entering my mind, especially when I feel really sick. So what can I do to take back control of my mind and stop thinking such horrible thoughts?”
David looked up and stared at the ceiling while he thought about what his wife said. He then looked out of the window and could see the sun rising through the clouds. It looked like it was going to be a warm, sunny day and he thought of something that could encourage his wife.
“The first thing you need to do is ask God to help you change your way of thinking. Stop focusing on negative thoughts and start thinking positive,” David replied.
“I agree with what you’re saying, but how do I do that? It’s hard to think positive when I’m going through this illness,” said Zayna.
“I have an idea,” David replied. “The next time you find yourself thinking about something negative, I want you to say out loud something positive. For example, if you start thinking that you’re going to die, I want you to say ‘I’m not going to die, I’m going to live’. When you think that you are getting weaker, I want you to say, ‘I’m getting stronger and I’m getting better. God is helping me to get stronger every day.”
Zayna smiled. “That’s a great idea, David. I’ll try that. What else do you think I should do to get rid of my negative thoughts?”
“I want you to create a picture in your mind of yourself getting better, getting stronger and getting healthier. And while you imagine yourself getting healed from this disease, I want you to keep repeating over and over again, ‘I’m getting healthier, I’m getting stronger, I’m getting better.’”
Zayna nodded her head in agreement. “Okay, I will give it a try. Right now I’ll try anything to get rid of the nightmares and negative thoughts so I can get a good night’s sleep.”
“Let’s try to get a bit more sleep,” suggested David as he cradled his wife in his arms and pulled the duvet over their bodies.
A couple of hours later Zayna’s eyes fluttered open. She sat up, stretched her arms and then rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She covered her mouth as she yawned. She noticed that David was already out of bed and probably left for work. Although she really wanted to stay in bed, she forced herself to get up.
As she reached for the glass of water on the night table she noticed a card addressed to her. She opened the card and read:
“I started this new day with a positive thought and gratitude in my heart. I am grateful for the day God led me to you and for every day after that we’ve been together. Now it’s your turn. Love, David.”
Zayna smiled and tears pricked her eyes as she re-read the loving note her husband wrote before he went to work. She thought about her husband and their two daughters and realised that she cannot give up. She intended to do everything she could to fight the disease that was poisoning her body.
She got out of bed and stood in front of the mirror. She had lost a lot of weight and she noticed that she had lost a lot of hair. But she decided to ignore all of that.
Zayna closed her eyes and pictured the way she used to look before she had cancer. She imagined running her fingers through her thick, healthy hair.
She pictured herself playing games with her children. She thought about how energetic she felt. And she imagined David telling her how beautiful she looked in the red dress that was his favorite.
Zayna smiled at these thoughts and as soon as she opened her eyes she said, “I am getting better and I am getting stronger. I am getting healthier.”
It felt strange to say those words out loud, especially since she felt quite the opposite. But she refused to succumb to negative thoughts. She needed to be healthy again, not just for herself, but also for the sake of her family. She could not bear the thought of leaving her husband and children behind. She was determined to get better.
“I am getting better. I am getting stronger. I am getting healthier,” she repeated.
She suddenly remembered that she had an appointment that day to undergo chemotherapy. She hated how sick she felt when it was over. Then she started thinking about dying and a flood of tears escaped her eyes.
“No!” she cried. “I will not start thinking negative thoughts!” But she found it very difficult to control the negative thoughts that suddenly bombarded her mind.
“God, please help me!” she cried. “Please remove all these negative thoughts from my mind.”
Zayna opened her eyes and spotted a Bible verse hanging on the wall. It read:
“So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Zayna faced the mirror once again and said firmly, “God is with me. God is helping me. God is healing me. God is making me stronger. God is making me healthier. God is making me better. Praise be to God!”
Zayna repeated those words over and over again until she felt better. She stopped thinking bad thoughts and instead filled her mind with positive thoughts.
She sat down on the bed and opened the top drawer of her night table and took out her Bible. She also took out a notebook and started looking for verses about healing. She decided to memorise those verses to help her to increase her faith in God who is the ultimate healer. Then she went about her daily activities and for the first time that night, she was able to sleep without having anymore nightmares.
Every morning Zayna woke up, thanked God for her life, her health, and her family. She stood in front of the mirror and repeated to herself that God is helping her, God is making her stronger, and God is making her healthier.
And it was working. Each day Zayna felt a little stronger and a little better. She had more energy and was able to play games with her children and spend more time with her husband.
David also noticed the change in his wife’s attitude. She was more positive about her health and she wasn’t as miserable as she was before. He was so happy to see his wife looking healthier and stronger. She had a more upbeat and positive attitude. Every day David thanked God for his wife’s improvement.
About 6 weeks later, Zayna had finally completed her chemotherapy treatment. The doctor ran some tests and when he got the results he called Zayna and asked her to come to his office.
Zayna and David held each other’s hands as they waited anxiously for the results of the test.
“Well, Zayna,” said the doctor, “after 6 weeks of chemo, it looks like the treatment was successful. I have examined your test results and I am pleased to inform you that I could not find any traces of cancer in your body. Zayna, your cancer is gone. You’re completely healed.”
“That’s great news, doctor. Thank you so much for taking care of my wife,” said David as he shook his hand.
Zayna burst out crying in relief. “I’m so happy and so relieved!” she cried. “Thank you so much for all your help.” Zayna gave the doctor a big hug.
Then Zayna and David hugged each other and laughed hysterically. “Oh David, I can’t wait to tell Penny and Tana the good news!”
“I’m sure your daughters will be very happy,” said the doctor.
When they left the doctor’s office Zayna turned to her husband and kissed him passionately. “David, thank you so much for being with me and helping me to overcome this disease. I don’t think I would have survived without you by my side.”
“Honey, remember I made a promise,” David replied. “When we got married I promised to be with you in sickness and in health. Besides I can’t take all of the credit.”
“You’re right,” said Zayna. “You encouraged me to think more positively about my health, but God did the rest. He removed the cancer and healed my body. And it’s all because I had increased my faith in him. I believed that God could heal me and he did. He had full control of my life and he healed me.”
“Thank God for this miracle,” said David as they looked forward to spending the rest of their lives together.
The End
